1) BOLDNESS – Audrey Lawson, then Audrey Hoffman, sent the first letter. Women these days receive conflicting advice as to who should make the first move. Personally I want a man to approach me but I’ve been known to throw out a little bait now and again. Maybe the key, if he isn’t making the first move, is to gently – I repeat gently – let him know you are interested and then wait. If he doesn’t acknowledge your efforts well, you know the deal, but it never hurts to try. Mrs. Lawson sent him a letter and waited for his response and only after she received it did she proceed. The article doesn’t say it but I can pretty much guarantee she didn’t send him thirty letters in a row asking “Why haven’t you responded to my first twenty-nine letter yet?” Be bold, yet patient. That leads me to number two…
2) PATIENCE – Audrey and William sent each other letters – not text messages, tweets, emails but letters through the US Postal Service (snail mail) from September 1952 to January 1954. Talk about patience. They had to take the time to express and write their feelings for each other down on stationary, mail it out, and wait for a reply. How many times have you gotten upset at your significant other for not returning your text or phone call five minutes after you’ve sent it? *raises hand* I recall my own grandmother telling me her and my grandfather exchanged letters their first two years of courting because he was in the military. 1952 wasn’t that long ago, but my goodness how times have changed! We are truly the microwave generation – we want everything right now – we don’t understand the concept of waiting. Patience is vitally important in your relationship. You have to take time to get to know the other person especially before you get involved sexually (that’s a story for another time). These days, within 16 months the couple has already broken up, completely despise each other, and have a five month old child together. It doesn’t make sense. Some of us look at our grandparents and wonder how they lasted over the years and I dare to say they didn’t rush into marriage they actually took the time to court each other…
3) COURTSHIP aka DATING – They sent each other over six HUNDRED letters in 16 months. The article said they only met each other face to face eight times before they married. That is probably stretching it for a lot of folks. Even I want quality time with the man I’m dating but how many people actually get to know the REAL person they are courting? So many rush into the physical part of a relationship and then wonder five months later who the heck they’ve been seeing. How many times have you heard “Girl, I had no clue he was nuts” or “Man, she is crazy”. It usually takes “sane” people five to eight months to show their true selves in a relationship; their representative has exited stage left and the real them is there to stay. It would behoove you to take your time and get to know that man or woman before jumping into things. Lastly…
4) TRUST – Sixteen months and only eight face to face meetings. Yet you live a few blocks away from your significant other and continue to say you can’t trust them as far as you can throw them. Really? Audrey and William had to have a strong level of trust in each other to have a long distance relationship. These days with social networks and venomous friends in your ear about your mate trusting can be difficult. I’m learning though that it really isn’t that complicated, either you trust the person or you don’t. Either you will believe them or believe the folks outside of your relationship. Of course, you have to have some common sense but this is why dating is important because if you feel you can’t trust the other person then no harm no foul. Dust your hands off and walk away; but if the Lawsons could trust each other with miles separating them and no Facebook or twitter to confirm she did go out with her friends like she said she was then you can do it too. Okay that latter part was a joke…
I love listening to old school love songs; somehow reading up on Audrey and William Lawson’s story was like listening to a sweet song. How beautiful is it to love and be loved by someone. The last lines of the article summed everything up for me perfectly – “Audrey Lawson confessed that initially she had hoped to ‘change’ her new husband into someone more financially ambitious. With time came marital compromise. ‘I came to love his ways,’ she said, ‘because I loved him.’”
Luv2LuvYa,
@TammiLorraine
Original article via Houston Chronicles – By Allan Turner “Sent with Love”
Love what you are doing with the blog Tam!
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