I’ve never had someone’s girlfriend or wife approach me about talking to their man before; so when I had the following email exchange with one of the guys I’ve been chatting with girlfriend you can imagine my surprise.
This brings up the age old question do you check your man or the other woman?
In my defense, I had no idea he was in a relationship and would have exited stage left if I had known. That’s how innocent women get jumped and beat up in these streets. She could have Joey Greco following him and next thing you know I’m on an episode of Cheaters wondering what the hell is going on.
Another point to think about is if she has to check his email, text messages, etc then she needs to do herself a favor and leave! If they aren’t married and she feels the need to go snooping threw his things then there are serious problems in their relationship. Especially if she has already found something she deemed to be questionable. A couple of years ago, my ex let me use his phone and I got curious and peeped his text message. The first one said “Thank you for letting me show you how Superhead does it’”. Talk about angry
Now he had to have trusted I wouldn’t go through his phone because he didn’t even hesitate when I asked him to use it for a minute. I wasn’t even that type of female; although we were having issues I had never went through his phone prior to that. Now I could have called every one of those females up and got info from them or cursed them out but in my mind it wasn’t about them. They weren’t in our relationship. Obviously, I kicked his ass to the curb but how many women rather flip out on the female and make it work with the man instead of leaving him. If I had stayed, best believe I would have been going mentally and emotionally crazy wondering if he were out doing me wrong again. Why do that to yourself? Trust is one of the biggest parts of a relationship if you don’t have that then what’s the point? My new motto is “If you feel the need to check your partners stuff then it’s time to walk away”.
Girl! If you’re a grown woman and feel the need then you need to either A. Check your security level or B. It’s time to be out. That’s stuff I did in my teens/early 20′s. I can’t be with a man I can’t fully trust.
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I wholeheartedly agree Ivonnah!!!
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Great topic, Tammi! I would say it depends on the situation. If I were in the predicament I would take up matters with him only. If he was doing the deed with a mutual friend, I would address the BOTH of them; after all, they were both aware of me and didn’t care enough to keep boundaries. Either way, it would be over because peace of mind and security in myself is what is most important….why would I want to hold on to anything that compromises that? However, if this was a married scenario, it would be a little difficult because there is more at stake (ie, shared property, kids, vested emotions)…and with this, it could go either way.
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