A few years ago, I remember asking my grandfather what advice he had to making a marriage last as long as his and my grandmother’s. They had just celebrated their 50th anniversary and we were sitting alone in their living room having granddaugher and granddaddy time.
He gave me three keys, in his opinion (and granddaddy’s opinions are ALWAYS right), to having a lasting relationship:
You must compromise: nobody gets their way ever. You either create a new way together or you meet in the middle. There are times one may have to give a lot more than the other but in general you both should be meeting in the middle.
You must communicate: when you stop talking and sharing with your spouse you drift apart.
Never, never, never go to bed angry, upset, or mad at your spouse: You may not resolve the issue at hand but you will regret the day you lose your loved one and not had made peace with them.
These three keys seem simple enough; but in this day and age, humans are selfish. It’s always about me, me, me, and my feelings and what I want or don’t want. Some have a list of do’s and don’ts that must be followed to a T with no questions asked or deviation. Can we even find the word compromise in the Webster? Or is it extinct like the dodo bird? How do we get back to compromise?
People want their partner to listen and understand them but are unwilling to be quiet and hear their partner. They want you to be there when they call but are MIA emotionally when you need them. How do we get back to effective communication? To the place we actually take the time to listen and not just be heard?
When did we lose the desire to want to please our mates? Wanting to make them happy? Love isn’t truly shown when your man or woman is doing everything right but truly being there, being consistent, being you when they aren’t. So we don’t agree on everything but are we willing to work on it?
I believe in compromise – I’m still working on the listening part – and I try to make peace as much as possible. Our generation is so infatuated with threesomes, playing games, and side pieces; yet wonder why healthy happy relationships are so few and far in between. I wish my granddaddy was here to impart more wisdom into me but his and my grandma’s relationship was an example of a solid bond. His threesome was compromise, communication, and peace. When it came to playing games and side pieces, he was good with putting a few dollars on the numbers and a bucket of Popeye’s chicken and biscuits.
So are you down for a threesome?
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