Hey Tammi Lorraine,
I met this guy online and we’ve been talking for a few months. It seems as if we have a good connection and he has been suggesting that we meet face to face to see if something jumps off. I’m wondering if it is even possible to spark a meaningful relationship off of a social network or are social networks only a means to find a quick screw? I’m done with that and really do want to find a good guy and he seems genuine enough in his approach. So should I give it a try or should I chalk it up to just a little online flirting?
Just asking,
Dani
Dear Dani:
I actually know someONE who met his wife on Myspace and they are happily married with a son. So it is possible to met someone on a social network and fall in love.
The way social networks are moving these days it’s like the free version of any of these mainstream online dating sites. With that said, I’m going to give you a few of my warnings/precautions to meeting and falling for someone via a social network.
NUMBER ONE – not everyone is a true representation of themselves on line. Meaning he/she may have a gorgeous picture of themselves from back in ’92 and when you meet them for the first time the feelings you may have developed for them may not match your physical compatibility. Talk about downer! Now this will be a test in your superficiality; can you be with this man who isn’t as tall as you like or this woman who isn’t as small as you are use to?
Outside of the physical aspect, there is something about being behind a computer screen that makes people feel VERY comfortable and BOLD. So he may tweet a bunch of inspirational tweets but have self-esteem issues or she may see outgoing and funny but can’t hold a conversation worth crap. I like to call it peoples “Twitter or Facebook Personalities” – so you never know who they really are until you chill with them in person.
In the same breath there are people out there who create fake profiles and are out to harm folks so ALWAYS be careful!!!
NUMBER TWO – seriously note how he/she talks to others on line. If you notice they are flirtatious with a number of females/males on their timeline then that might be an indication you aren’t the only one he/she is trying to make a connection with. I always say DM’s and FB messages are a funny thing. I can’t say what your friend’s intentions are but in my perspective if he is sending you DM’s talking bout how he is feeling you then is on his timeline flirting and telling other females to check their DM’s it doesn’t seem like you are the only one. So I’d go SLOW, very slow.
NUMBER THREE - social networks are a great way to meet new people fast and it does give you a false sense of truly knowing someone. Be sure your only interaction with him/her isn’t thru 140 characters and/or a FB post. Get a gmail number if you don’t feel comfortable giving out your phone number to them at first. Although you really don’t want to rush a face to face meeting, if you notice you run in the same crew then get your folks together for your first encounter. You can’t develop a true relationship over text, because if you don’t know by now messages can get twisted plus you want to make sure you see a different side of this person you are catching feelings for.
NUMBER FOUR - I want to go back to the false sense of truly knowing someone. There are people on social networks for the sole purpose of portraying themselves as someone they are not. So you again be careful.
But that’s just my opinion… let’s see what your peers think…
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